Oh No! Not *another* 'Post Gift' fic!
by Cal
Summary: It basically mocks everything about the many, many, MANY Post Gift fics around. Don't take it personally, anyone.
1. Moments later....

Author's Notes: I wrote this after getting suck and tired of all the "Post Gift" fics ****

Author's Notes: I wrote this after getting suck and tired of all the "Post Gift" fics. Oh yeah and, as a result of not having cable, I have seen none of Angel season 2 or Buffy season 5, excluding both season finales. So if I get anything wrong I apologise.

Dedicated to Pippa. Love ya.

Oh No! Not *another* 'Post-Gift' fic!

"It's Buffy." whispered Angel. 

"Nooooo....that's _Willow. _The lesbian witch? Buffy's the whiney one." Cordelia reminded her forgetful co-worker. 

"Oh yeah." Angel brightened. "So what can I do ya for, Willow?" he asked astoundingly cheerfully, considering what his old character used to be like. 

"Well Angel....Buffy's dead." Willow said solemnly. Angel gasped.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he screamed. He felt like his heart was being ripped in 4 halves (yes, I know, not possible) and his body was freezing. A hurricane of grief wrapped around him like a hurricane. He didn't exist. He grew angry at the world. Nothing was real any more. And other various cheesy clichés.

"What.....how.....who....when....where...." Angel stammered. "Why....which...-"

"You gonna finish that sentence some time this century?" Willow said impatiently.

"...What happened?! What DID THIS????!!!" Angel cried.

"She sacrificed herself, Angel. Dawn's blood had opened the portal and she jumped off the tower to save the world. She died saving the world." Willow said softly. 

"What?" asked Angel.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. I'll just give you a vague summary of the past season's events in two lines."

She then considered her past words. 

"Hey, isn't it odd I seem to use this identical same explanation in every 'Post Gift' fic?"

"Oh my God, how could this have happened?!" moaned Angel. "I loved her! And now she's gone! Gone! GONE!!!! I'll never-"

"-Guys, isn't this about the time I say something blunt and insensitive and Angel yells at me?" Cordelia interrupted, fidgeting. 

"WHAT? WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! BUFFY SUMMERS WAS THE GREATEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN _ME _WHO DIED INSTEAD!" Angel yelled.

"Gee, I never saw that one comin'" muttered Gunn. 

"Oh my, like, God! Buffy is soooo, like, dead!" Cordelia cried. "Even though I treated her like sh*t up until this point, now that she's dead I will act like we were particularly close!" She ran from the room.

Then Gunn remembered his line.

"Guys...I may not have known Buffy very well, but I do know she fought evil and saved the world. She was an amazing person. I'll just leave you alone with your grief." Gunn was relieved to have gotten his compulsory speech over, and left.

Wesley spoke for the first time. "I'm going to use this point in time to bring up how I failed Buffy as her Watcher. I have no idea of the relevance, but it is a required part of a 'Post Gift' fic."

"There there, Wes." Angel comforted. "You did your best."

"BUT MY BEST WASN'T ENOUGH! I FAILED HER! I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER! WAAAAHHHHHH!" Wesley ran from the room in tears.

That just left Willow and Angel.

"We had the service during the day. It's what Buffy would have wanted." Willow said sadly.

"What? Buffy wouldn't have wanted that! She'd want it during the night, when I, her first love, could attend. That's the most logical assumption. Honestly, fan fic writers have no friggin' idea of what Buffy would have wanted!" Angel yelled.

"I am pleased to inform you that Buffy's death has caused the Scooby gang to accept Spike into our group. Yes, despite us frequently voicing our complete and utter contempt for the guy, we are now going to let him be Dawn's legal guardian." Willow informed Angel.

"_Spike?!_ The guy is a barely competent vampire, who looks upon all humans as nothing but food! Why the hell would you put a grief-stricken, inconsolable young teenage girl in his care?!"

Willow looked confused. "I'm not really sure why we did, the question of her father or Giles, or a relative of any sort looking after her just didn't occur to us at the time." she explained. Angel checked his watch.

"Shoot! I'm late!" 

"For what?" Willow asked, confused again. What could possibly be more important than his true love's death?

"Oh, I'm supposed to run into Spike while visiting Buffy's grave. He's drunk and shouts at Buffy then I hit him for insulting her."

"Oh." Willow acknowledged this. "Well, have fun."

"Thanks. You have fun now while falling in love with Xander and sleeping with him. Make sure to tell Xander it was just a result of grief then five minutes later burst into tears and say you need him."

"I will. Bye!" Willow and the vampire went their separate ways, and therein to the next chapter.


	2. Months later....

Author's Notes: Hey everyone ****

Author's Notes: Hey everyone. I was planning to leave this a one-chapter fic, but I've had so much feedback from it that I just _had_ to continue :-) 

It's been a while since I've read past the first chapter of a Post Gift fic, so if I get anything wrong sue me........uh, I meant that in the non-literal sense. I also apologise if this turns out to be not very funny and disappoints a lot of people. As y'all can see, I'm a severe optimist.

Dedicated to Pippa.

Oh hell, why not. Dedicated to Hex also.

Spike hummed a happy tune as he strolled casually up the front steps of the Summer's house. Life was good. I mean, yeah, so Buffy was dead. But life...uh, unlife (A/N: Intentional bad joke, just to clear that up) had to go on, right? 

His spirits were suddenly dampened as his preternatural hearing caught the sounds of a certain teenage girl crying. Spike crashed the door down with one booted kick. _Wait a minute. Why did I kick the door down? I have a key! Dammit, that's the 4th time that's happened this week. _Spike snapped back to the situation and raced up the stairs. 

"Dawn! Dawn!" Spike kicked down Dawn's door - _Dammit! – _to find her sitting on her bed crying her eyes out. She looked up.

"Spike? Why'd you kick the door down?" she looked confused.

"Why simple, opening it would have delayed me by a whole 3 seconds from reaching you." 

"But it wasn't even locked!" 

"Details, details. Never mind all that. Why are you crying?"

Dawn instantly started blubbering again.

"Well, Spike...you left me alone for a whole 4 minutes! I was worried! I needed someone!" Spike felt his heart...uh, unheart...no wait..._non-beating_ heart...break. He held Dawn close.

"Now, Dawnie, my little sugar muffin potato. I made a promise to a lady that I would keep you safe from 'arm. Didn't I?"

"Umm....why are you asking me?" Spike considered this, but dismissed it. He got back to business.

"Now, I've bought us groceries from the day-store supermarket...thing." Dawn looked confused.

"But it's day!"

"Your point being..?"

"You're a vampire. Sunlight burns you to ashes."

"Oh yeah. Umm....well, I had my trusty blanket?" Spike looked at her hopefully. Dawn shook her head.

"I don't think so...wouldn't it seem a bit odd to storekeepers, a guy who seems to be on fire suddenly smashing through the shop window, clutching a burning blanket?" Spike considered.

"Apparently not. Well, either that or I've developed a sudden and theoretically impossible immunity to sunlight. Happens all the time in vampires, honest." Dawn accepted this and decided to move on.

"So, where were we. Oh yeah. WAAHHH BUFFY'S DEAD! WAHHHH it should have been me! WAHHH I'm not real!"

"That's the spirit, Little..um, bit."

Dawn suddenly looked at Spike.

"Say, is there a reason that we're both totally out of character? And why haven't you called me 'ducks' or 'luv' or 'pet' yet? And why aren't you speaking with your accent?" 

"Well, you see, in order for a successful 'Post-Post Gift' fic, the author has to forget I'm a vampire-"

"-You're a vampire?!"

Spike looked at her.

"Umm....yes? But anyway; I must act exactly like a human, I never drink blood, avoid sunlight, act anything like my character on the show, or mention how I want to be evil again." 

"Oh."

Spike carried on with his explanation.

"And now you have to act totally mature and grown up. Yep, despite the fact that you're only 15 and all, you hold the rest of the _adult _group together." Dawn processed this answer, then smiled. 

"Great! Well, let's go see the gang!" She skipped cheerfully out of the room. Spike shook his head and followed, smiling.

"Kids!" 

* * *

The two arrived at The Magic Box. Miraculously, the whole gang was there. Apparently they had arrived with perfect timing.

"Hello all." said Spike, reverting back to his old harsh, cold attitude.

Hey! Hey, look everybody, it's Spike! Our friend Spike!" Xander cried, going up to hug his buddy. "How's life treatin' ya, pal?"

Spike savagely shoved Xander away from him. Which was strange, seeing as he had a chip preventing him from causing any sort of physical harm to any living creatures.

"Get off me, you big poof! I've brought the Lil' bit over." Spike retreated to the corner of the shop and lit up a cigarette.

"Hello Dawn." Giles greeted her warmly. "You're here just in time. We've arranged for you to go stay with your uncaring, never-writes-or-calls father. Wasn't that considerate of us? I mean, although we often imply we despise the man, we really think you should go live with him. I mean, you'll be able to talk to him so much easier than us! After all, he has no idea what you are, or how Buffy really died. We're really not trying to get rid of you, honest. We do care about you, honestly."

"I'm old and MATURE enough to look after myself! I am really mature! Hint: MATURE. Take note of the MATURITY I display." 

Dawn then proceeded to run from the shop in tears, in a tantrum. A MATURE tantrum, mind you.

Willow turned to Giles, distressed. "Oh deary! Looks like we misjudged our little Dawnie. She is growing up." She got all teary-eyed. "Our little Dawny-snoogles is all growed up!"

"I SOOO do not care about any of you guys. To me, you all mean pretty much nothing. If I saw you getting murdered in the street, I'd turn a blind eye. Well, apart from Xander. But that's just because he is good in bed." Anya suddenly said. 

Everyone regarded her with weary affection. Xander ruffled her hair.

"Aww, that's our Anya!" he said tenderly.

"I am so predictable and shallow that the author can quite easily write my character by saying anything, but inserting the word "Orgasm friend" in every 3rd sentence." she added.

"By Jove, I do believe you're right!" Giles proclaimed. "But I believe the author is getting slightly off-track here. I mean, look at this: he's barely even mentioning anything to do with 'Post-Post Gift fics. And now he's resorted to mentioning himself in his fic, something he once swore he hated author's doing!"

"Ah well," Xander comforted. "At least it's still mildly humourous, right?" Everybody in the room was silent.

"....Right?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Dawn had run away to L.A. _I'm sure when I see Angel, who, of course, I magically knew the address of, he won't send me right back home. _

And therefore another chapter was completed.

So...should I write more? Or – quit while I'm ahead? 

It would really help if people reviewed and told me if they still found it funny.


	3. Yet more months later....

Author's Notes: Ok, so I'm getting the impression that the 2nd chapter wasn't quite as popular as the first ****

Author's Notes: Ok, so I'm getting the impression that the 2nd chapter wasn't quite as popular as the first. That's alright. I can deal. 

If 'dealing' translates into 'writing another chapter' ;-) 

I _promise _not to write another chapter after this, unless people actually want me to.

Dedicated to Pippa and Hex.

Angel walked mournfully towards the grave of his first love. The journey had been very heavy on his heart. Well, that and the burrito he'd had for lunch. 

Nearing the distance towards the grave - which of course he had found with his psychic abilities – Angel became aware of the sounds of sobbing, glass smashing, and cursing. Angel added all these factors and the conclusion came to him instantly. _Someone had thrown a stone at a greenhouse, causing the occupant to curse and cry! _

Angel set off at a running pace to catch the vandals responsible, but ran smack into his Grand-Childe, Spike. 

"Spike! What the hell are you doing here?!" Angel snarled. Spike looked at him with bloodshot eyes. It looked like he had been crying. Which, as a vampire - hence no water intake - was impossible. But let's not quibble with details. 

"What does it look like I'm doin', ya bleedin poof?!" Spike cried. "I'm mournin' my true love!" 

"No,_ I _am!" Angel responded. "She's _my _true love. I loved her first, nyeh nyeh!" 

Spike began to sob. Angel awkwardly patted his back.

"Umm...there there. Got to, uh, move on and all that. Plenty more fishes...er, vampires in the.....graveyard." he attempted to comfort Spike. Then he realised what exactly he was doing.

"Wait a minute. You're _Spike!" _Spike rolled his eyes.

"Well observed, mate."

"But I hate you. We're deadly enemies! For that matter, so were you and Buffy!" 

"Yet more startling revelations revealed by Nancy-hair-gel-boy. Now, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted. Oh yes. Ahem." Spike took an unnecessary breath. Almost as unnecessary as the word 'unnecessary' in the previous sentence. "WAAH OH MY GOD BUFFY'S DEAD!!! WAHH, YOU BITCH! YOU DIED! BITCH! I HATE YOU! DIE!" Spike viciously kicked the tombstone. "Ow! My bloody foot!" he muttered.

Angel swiftly threw Spike away from Buffy's grave.

"HOW DARE YOU?!! YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO SHARE LIVING...UM, UNLIVING SPACE WITH THE GREAT ONE; BUFFY SUMMERS! YOU ARE LESS THAN NOTHING COMPARED TO HER!!!!" he screamed at Spike. At this point Spike had covered his ears.

"Jeez, you don't have to yell. Oh, and look! Now I've got saliva all over me. I want the news, not the weather!" He suddenly coughed. "Umm, what I meant to say was, 'I know, I know, but now she's dead and I miss her, etc. Yes, even though she treated me like sh*t despite me on numerous occasions saving her life, and the lives of her friends.'"

Angel grabbed the bottle Spike had half-smashed on Buffy's grave, and threw it at him. 

"Get out of here, before I rip your head off and eat it!!" he roared. Spike began to leave, then turned.

"If you were to do that, wouldn't I instantly turn to dust, including my head?" Angel considered this for a second.

"Get out of here _NOW!!_"

Spike ran.

* * *

__

Meanwhile...

Xander and Willow lay in bed, after a long session of...use your imagination. 

"Xander, we shouldn't have done that. That was wrong." Willow tried to make sense of the situation. Xander looked at her.

"You mean, that last time, or the 5 times before that....?"

"All of it!!" Willow snapped. Xander looked hurt.

"Didn't you enjoy it?" he asked, downcast.

"That's not the point." Willow said quickly. "We can't ever tell anyone about this. It would ruin our relationships, for the gang to know we just slept together, despite me being a lesbian and all, and us both having partners to help us through the grief."

Xander pulled on his shirt and began to leave. Just as he was at door, he heard Willow cry,

"Xander! Don't leave me! I can't be alone right now!" she began to sob. Xander sighed, and turned to go back.

"Gonna be a _looong _night." He muttered.

* * *

Angel arrived back at L.A to find Dawn sitting on his doorstep, looking utterly miserable.

"Dawn?" he asked softly. "What's wrong?" 

Dawn looked up.

"What the hell do you _think _is wrong, re-runs of the goddamn Power Rangers?! My sister's dead!!"

"Oh yeah..." Angel muttered. "....

__

Simultaneously....

Pedestrians walking along a street on the other side of L.A. winced as the air filled with the screaming voice.

"YOU FORGOT?!!"

* * *

As all of this was going on, primal forces were gathering......for coffee. 

"Ooh ducky," said Fate. "I hear that Summers girl croaked it." Fate accepted a cup of tea. "Thanks dearie."

"Nah!" Time argued, while crunching on a digestive biscuit. "These are _delicious! _Wherever did you get the recipe? Anyway, Summers is as tough as extremely-strong nails. She can't be dead."

"Actually, she _is _dead." said Death. "My legion recorded her moving in the other day. Frightful girl, really. She won't stop punching holes in the fragile clouds! Yummy, I just _love _these rock cakes!"

That's impossible!" interjected Destiny. "Her time isn't up yet!" Destiny, after setting down it's cup of coffee, aligned the stars, etc, and basically brought Buffy back to life. Destiny then relaxed back on the couch.

"Ahhh, I tell you, this couch does my back in something chronic."

* * *

Buffy groaned as she crawled out of her grave. She checked herself in her handy pocket mirror.

"Great, all this dirt and absence of air hasn't ruined my hair at all! And my complexion's looking a treat!" she glanced around. "Say, I wonder where the guys are?"

So...it's up to you, guys. I'm not trying to blackmail anyone into reviewing, I'm just saying I would like to know whether there is any point in me going on.


	4. 15 year olds are sooo annoying....

Author's Notes: Hey everyone ****

Author's Notes: Hey everyone. After careful thought (and reading Spikelicious' review) I have decided to continue. There are likely to be 4 or 5 chapters in total for this fic. Please note, everyone, that I have seen none of the second season of Angel, excluding the finale. If I get anything wrong I apologise.

Many thanks to everyone who reviewed. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

Dedicated to Pippa, Hex, and all the people who reviewed and said nice things. 

Dawn sighed as she followed Angel into the Hyperion. It had been a long, tiring journey to L.A. She had managed to slip out of The Magic Box undetected. Yes, neither the Slayer or a vampire had noticed her leaving. Convenient, huh?

She had travelled by hitch-hiking, but luckily hadn't encountered any psychos. 

"Dawn? Why are you here?" Angel asked softly. This question threw Dawn for a second.

"Why am I here? Uh.....lemme check." Dawn referred to the notes for her role. She scrunched up her face upon reading. Holding the script at arm's length she said,

"It says here I'm supposed to be confused, and not really know the reason I'm here. Oh yeah, and it mentions a bunch of stuff about us bonding and me eventually finding inner peace. Kinda like the whole of the Buddhist religion." she laughed.

(A/N: To anyone who may be offended by that comment, I apologise sincerely. I am but an ignorant child!)

Angel stared at the 15 year old. 

"Not meaning to sound sceptical - ok, sue me, so I am – but why do you need to do all that _here?_ This isn't a freaking hotel." Angel glanced around. "Ok, so maybe it _is_, but I meant that metaphorically! Fic writers seem to think that this is some haven whenever any of the Scooby gang feel ignored or confused. Just, 'Pop on by to Uncle Angels for your group therapy issues!' But noooo, it's a whole different story when _I _ come to Sunnydale..." 

Dawn waited.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah." Angel said sheepishly. They both stood in silence for several moments. Angel looked at Dawn.

"What do you want again?" 

* * *

Buffy wandered down the streets of Sunnydale. In the few months she'd been dead, there didn't seem to have been any substantial changes in society.

"I bet these clothes are waaaay out of fashion..." she muttered. She appeared to have accepted that she was alive again rather easily. . No periods of self-reflection. No questions. In fact, the only concern she now had was that she would have to restock her wardrobe.

She reached The Magic Box, where, again, the whole gang were assembled. 

Well, let's face it, it ain't like they had anything better to do.

She opened the door, and entered to find everyone minus Spike lounging around looking dejected. Nobody had noticed her presence. She cleared her throat. Everyone looked towards the door.

"Hey guys." Buffy said, not unsure of herself in the least. "What's up?"

"Who are you?" asked Giles. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"It's me, guys." 

No response.

"You know – the Slayer?" 

Nothing. Anya yawned.

She made her tone slow and simple.

"Your friend?" 

There was still no recognition in them. 

"Do I know you?" asked Giles.

"Oh for Christs sakes, I'm _BUFFY!!"_

Giles still looked confused.

"I'm afraid I don't know anyone by the name of Buffy." This was when the fear began to hit Buffy. 

"Did you guys....._forget_ me?" she sounded like a child.

Everyone in the shop (minus Buffy) looked at each other for a moment, before they all burst out laughing.

"Gotcha!" Xander yelled.

"Nah, we're just messin' with ya!" Giles cried, laughing. "We were pretending we'd forgotten you!" He collapsed in a fit of laughter. 

Buffy hesitantly joined in the laughter.

"Uh...yeah. Ha ha! Good one! You guys sure got me!" 

Just then Spike walked in from a back room.  
"Alright Slayer. Wait a minute. Aren't you dead?"

"I was. I'm alive again now, Spike."

"Yeah! You mean you didn't even know _that?_" Xander yelled at Spike. "That is _soooo_ five minutes ago!"

Spike tried to make sense of the chaotic screaming.

"So...you're alive again?"

Buffy nodded. Spike looked at his watch.  
"About bloody time. You were due at least a month ago."

* * *

Meanwhile, in L.A, Dawn and Angel were sitting watching T.V. Angel looked over at Dawn, and offered her some of his drink. Dawn took one look at the red liquid and hastily declined.

"Oh well. Suit yourself." Angel shrugged. He quickly drained the rest of the cup.

"So...whaddya wanna do, my little Dawnie-kins?" he asked with a grin. Dawn regarded him calmly.

"Oh! I know! We can go patrolling! Yeah, I can go get my spine ripped out by a bloodthirsty vampire! Oh please, please please pleeeeeeease Angel?" Dawn pulled on Angel's sleeve.

"Absolutely not! It's too dangerous!" Dawn frowned. Then ran from the room crying and screaming, "I hate you, Angel!!"

Angel stared after her for a few moments.

"She is _sooo_ out of here."

Chapter 5 coming soon, but telling me what you think would most likely speed up the process :-)


	5. The end of the road....

Author's Notes: Ok, so this is probably going to be the last addition to my fic ****

Author's Notes: Ok, so this is probably going to be the last addition to my fic. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, Their kind words really helped with the continuation of this story. And who knows, I may even think up a sequel.

Dedicated, as always, to Pippa, Hex, and everyone else who was kind enough to review.

Dawn shrieked wildly as she ran down the stairs of the Hyperion, Angel in close pursuit. Angel eventually caught up with her, and mercilessly tickled her.

"Angel!" Dawn giggled. "Stop! Please! I'll do anything!" Angel grinned at her. He released his hold on her.

"So, what do you want to do next, Woongle-sausage?" Angel asked her goofily. Then he took a quick glance at his script.

"So...are we supposed to have a long philosophical discussion about the lives of vampires yet? Or is that after you and Cordelia discuss how hot I am?" Dawn scrunched up her face.

"I think right now it's time for us to get attacked by some vampires." She glanced at her watch. "Yep. In 3, 2, 1..." and with that, a group of vampires suddenly burst in – uninvited, of course.

"Go!" Angel yelled to Dawn. But Dawn, being the slightly annoying...ok, _very _annoying teenager that she is, merely ran to safety and watched the fight in fascination. Once it was all over, Angel glanced at Dawn to see her reaction. Her eyes were wide with shock, and she was breathing loudly.

"Oh my god! Like, even though I have seen demons killed before, dead bodies, and my own damn sister kill herself, a few vampires getting dusted totally freaks me out!" Angel reached for her.

"Dawn..." 

Dawn jumped back. "Get away from me!" She ran from the Hyperion in terror.

"Well," Wesley commented. "That situation was handled, that is to say-"

"S**t." said Angel, pretty much summing it up. Then he turned to his friends, grinning in delight.

"You guys – it worked! We got rid of her!" Everyone in the Hyperion began to cheer. Cordelia ran and got a bottle of champagne.

"_YES!!" _Angel yelled, pumping an fist in the air. "I thought we'd _never _be free of Dawn; 'Buffy McWhinemaster II'. Remind me to thank Spike for hooking us up with those vamps." He glanced at the dust piles on the floor.

"Wesley, get the vacuum."

* * *

Buffy sat in – yep, you guessed it – The Magic Box.

"So guys, I have a question." she suddenly blurted. The others all turned and looked at her inquisitively. 

"Go on, Buffy." Giles prompted.

"Remember the night I died?

Everyone looked like they were searching their memories, and Buffy waited impatiently. Finally...

"Nope, can't remember."

"It appears to have slipped my mind."

"Forgotten it."

"Sorry Buffy."

That just left Anya. Everyone looked at her curiously. She stared at them.

"What? Why's everyone looking at me?" 

Buffy sighed.

"Well just take my freakin' word for it then. Anyway, on the night I died, before I closed the portal, a whole bunch of creep demons and scary dragon-harry-potter-type monsters cam out of the portal. I was just wondering....where are they? And why isn't the town a smoking ruin?"

"Ah, well observed," Giles answered Buffy's question. "You see Buffy, the majority of 'Post Gift' writers are females obsessed with Spike, so they tend to forget minor details like that and instead focus on getting you two together. It _always_ happens. By rights this town should have been destroyed with so many demons, no Slayer to fight them, and us all far too upset *cough* to fill in for you. Just another irregularity of Post Gift fics."

"Um..oh."

* * *

By now Dawn was travelling back to Sunnydale from L.A, without giving Angel so much as a 'Hey, you've fixed my screwed up life and made it worth living again....ta ta now.' 

How rude.

Despite her mentioning earlier that she'd used up _all _her money getting to L.A, Dawn managed to just...._have_ money for the way back.

"I expect I'll be in trouble when I get back," Dawn thought. "I mean, I did run off without telling them, and had them worried for my life and safety at a very emotional time." She considered whether the gang would hold a grudge about this. _They're petty that way_, she concluded. She opened the door of The Magic Box, calling out loudly.

"Guys! I'm home!" 

There was a short blond girl standing talking to the gang, her back facing Dawn. Dawn inhaled sharply.

Buffy, hearing the sound, turned. Recognition shone in her eyes.

"Dawn..." she said lovingly.

"Buffy? Is it really you?" whispered Dawn. 

"Yeah Dawnie. It's me." Buffy began to choke up. She began hacking loudly. 

"sorry." She said sheepishly. "I ate a few too many tuna sandwiches for lunch. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Dawnie..." she began to move towards Dawn.

"No! YOU'RE NOT MY SISTER! My sisters DEAD!! NOOOOO!" She turned and ran out the shop.

This left the gang in stunned silence for a moment.

"Oh bloody hell, not _again_!"

The End!

I want to thank everyone who reviewed this while I was writing it, it's a real pleasure to be able to make so many people laugh. 


End file.
